Santa’s Christmas Cracker Read online

  I bristled. “Tell her yourself, I’m not Match.com.”

  “No, you muppet. Brunettes, the band. They’re playing next year, and tickets go on sale tomorrow. I’d rather she got me something I actually wanted for Christmas.”

  “Oh, yes. Of course. Consider it done.”

  “Right, let’s get this photo done so I can get out of here.”

  He struck a pose and with my hand shaking, I finally managed to take a couple of photos. Then I lied and said they’d not come out so well on Audrina’s phone so I was switching to mine to see if they looked better. I would dine out on these photos all night. Just me and a quiet night in bed with my phone. It’d make a change from stalking his Instagram page.

  “Right, I’m off because seeing my sister in an minute elf costume tomorrow will be one time too many. Catch you tomorrow.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek. I turned and looked up at him as his eyes fixed on mine and then memories of that past event nipped at my mind like green ants on skin and I turned away.

  “Thanks for doing this. Hopefully my own costume might get me a date.” I said without turning back around.

  When I did, he’d gone.

  Jared

  Well, how to fuck up spectacularly. It had been six years since that night—the previous time I’d fucked up spectacularly. When Audrina had invited me to the coffee shop and I realized I was actually going to see Case in the flesh for the first time in years, I’d jumped at the chance. Play Santa? I’d have emigrated to the North Pole if need be. To be honest, my own pole was featuring a lot in this current decision making.

  You see just before I’d last seen her all those years ago at Maddy’s wedding, I’d realized that my sister’s best friend was starting to look, well, hot. Actually, she was looking well hot. I’d done my best to ignore her while at the same time joining the gym and making sure she got glimpses of my newly toned bod. I’d not wanted to cause problems if I made a fool of myself asking her out and she turned me down. Audrina would probably have beaten me up for even encroaching on her best friend anyway. Plus, I doubted Casey even saw me as anything other than her best friend’s annoying older brother.

  But that night when I’d seen her on the bench. She’d looked so adorable, talking to herself, completely intoxicatingly intoxicated. And I realized I would have to tell her how I felt, whatever the consequences. Just not then, not while she was not able to make an informed choice about the possibility of an ‘us’.

  When she’d gone to kiss me, I’d been in shock. Did she feel the same way about me?

  I didn’t get a chance to find out after she was sick and then ran away.

  I’d not known it would be the last I would see of her outside of stalking her social media. So, I’d ask my sister about her, just casually, to see what was going on in her life. When she opened the café, I’d passed by so many times, tempted to just walk in. I’d practiced exactly what I would say, but when the time came, I just couldn’t do it and I’d walk on by.

  But was it my imagination or did she stare at me a little too long when she was taking my photo? Did she get annoyed when Audrina mentioned I might get a date?

  Tomorrow, I would do my best to make her jealous. See if there was potentially anything between us.

  I wasn’t religious but that night I actually prayed.

  * * *

  It hadn’t been my intention to walk into the coffee shop and burst out laughing.

  A scowl swept across Casey’s face, as she tried to stomp off in her outfit. But she couldn’t.

  She was dressed as something really weird. Her head was encased in a huge gold hat with spiky ends. It gathered around her neck. It led into a floaty red dress that went down to her ankles where the gold started again, pulled in tight at the bottom, hence her lack of movement. Then it flounced out over her feet.

  “Erm, what have you come as Casey?” I asked her.

  “Apparently, this was all they had in the shop.” She gave side-eye to my sister who was wearing her elf costume and looked very pleased with herself.

  “It’s a British Christmas Cracker.” Audrina said. “Apparently, you pull them apart and there’s a paper hat, a joke, and a small gift in the center.”

  “Yeah, there’s a joke in the center of it all right.” Casey huffed.

  “You look amazing, doesn’t she, Jared?” My sister elbowed me hard in the ribs.”

  “Yeah, you do, Case.” It was true. Dressed head to foot in the worst outfit ever, she still looked incredible.

  “Right, I just need to tell you a few rules. Follow me.” My sister ordered me around. I shrugged my shoulders at Casey and did what I was told.

  “Fuck it up this time and I’m done with the both of you.” My sister snarled at me when I reached the staff room.

  “What?”

  “The Elf tickets last year. You were sat next to each other. Except, smart ass, you didn’t show up.”

  My mouth gaped.

  “That’s why I got the Elf on a Shelf to hold the tickets in both of your apartments. You two were both ‘on the shelf’. I’d decided I’d had enough of being the go-between in the ‘what is the other one doing club’. All you had to do was go watch the goddamn show, but no.”

  “You were setting us up?”

  “Well, duh? Someone’s got to do something. I can’t take another six years of this crap. At first, I thought you were both just being polite asking about the other, and then the years passed and I realized there was more to it. I even got a job in her goddamn shop, so you had an excuse to come in.”

  My eyes widened.

  “Turned out I loved it, so that thankfully worked out okay, but you’ve never set foot through the door before yesterday. Why? I gave you the perfect excuse.”

  “I- I was scared.”

  “Well, you need to find your balls, dear Bro, because this is my last attempt at helping. From today, I refuse to tell either one of you anything about the other. I have my own life to lead. Next year I’m making some changes. I have dressed Casey as a Christmas Cracker. There’s a gift in there for you if you don’t fuck up.”

  With that she left me to get changed.

  Casey

  I was overwhelmingly hot, but not the way my bestie and her brother were. I was about one degree away from passing out. The news of our Santa had obviously spread far and wide. Audrina was helping me serve due to my limited available movement, plus the fact that men turned up, saw the queue of screaming, excited women and left again.

  Jared seemed in his element, letting women flirt with him and sit on his lap. Then I had to endure watching him kiss them, even if it was only on their cheek. I was about to throat punch the next one who ‘accidentally’ ran a hand up his thigh. All their ‘presents’ contained a voucher for a half-price drink to get them back into the shop, plus a cookie. Audrina had put the little goody bags together last night, bless her. If we started making money again she was due a raise.

  “If you get Santa as a barista, I would be in here every lunchtime. Every day.” Said one of the women as she adjusted her top to show more cleavage. I walked over to Audrina who was playing the coffee machine like a fine piano, setting up all the different components. “So that’s it. I need to employ a sexy, male barista. Totally against every ethic and employment law I can think of, but guaranteed to bring in business.”

  “Well, see how the drinks promo works out first.”

  “I will.” I cast a glance over at Santa again. “Well, while we’re certainly giving away plenty of goody bags, Santa’s no doubt giving away his phone number.”

  “Nah, he’s already got his eye on a new girlfriend. Head over heels he is. I’ve been tormenting him about her.”

  “Oh.” I stilled. “Poor woman having to put up with your brother. Does she need a psych evaluation?”

  Audrina stared at me a beat too long. “Well, yeah, anyone who wants to date my brother is obviously insane.”

  “So, who’s this new woman?” I lifted my cell out of m
y apron pocket ready to begin immediate stalking but then ten more women walked in, and my question was lost in the chaos that my coffee shop became for the rest of the day.

  “You can help Casey clear up. I’m shattered.” Ordered Audrina. She pulled on her coat over the top of her elf outfit, grabbed her bags and with a “See you tomorrow,” she was gone.

  “She could have helped me get out of this stupid outfit before she left.” I whined.

  “Here. Let me help.” Jared said, walking toward me. He held the top part of my outfit—the large cracker head—and pulled. It whipped off and my hair crackled with static electricity. I could feel it standing on edge.

  “Oh my god.” Jared fell about laughing.

  “Yes, okay. I think we know I look like a complete idiot. Jeez, I may as well just put the damn thing back on, seeing as I look stupid with or without it,” I raged. Jared’s eyes widened and his mouth gaped open.

  Shit.

  Way to go to make yourself look like a total lunatic again in front of him.

  Oh, fuck it. He’s got a girlfriend lined up anyway.

  “I’m sorry, Casey. It’s just you’ve always got into these situations. All the time round at ours something crazy would have happened to you. You don’t look an idiot, you look adorable.”

  Did he just say I looked adorable?

  I smacked myself in the ear. I was obviously hearing things. Must be from having that stupid hat on all day.

  “Casey, what on earth are you doing now?”

  “There’s something wrong with my hearing.”

  He moved closer. Now he was right in my personal space. He smoothed down my wild hair. “I don’t think there is. Now, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to pull this cracker.”

  His mouth fell to mine. His lips were soft at first and then harder, more insistent. His hand tangled in my hair while my arms wrapped around his neck. Our mouths opened, and our tongues met.

  I broke the kiss, breathless.

  “But the woman Audrina says you like…”

  “Is you, haven’t you worked that out yet? I’ve wanted you for years. Seems my sister got tired of us both taking forever and decided to take matters into her own hands.”

  I gasped. “Really?”

  “Yeah, you don’t think she actually wanted to see her brother half-naked for a full day, did you? It was all to get us together.”

  “Wait until I see her.”

  “Why?” He asked. “Is she in trouble?” His face was full of trepidation. Do not blow it now, Casey. Well, not your next sentence anyway.

  “No. I’d just like to talk to her about taking over the marketing side of the café, because she’s shown she’s made for it.”

  “And we’re made for each other.” He said. “Now, we’ve many, many years to catch up on.” With that he lifted me up and carried me to the stock room.

  He placed me so I was sitting on the top of a box and pulled off the rest of my cracker outfit. I wiggled my legs, thankful to be free. Jared took it as an invitation to move between them. He was still in just his red boxers. I pinged his bow tie. His mouth returned to mine. I was now dressed in just a red lacy bra and matching panties. Trailing his lips down my neck, then down to one breast, he lifted it out of the cup and captured a nipple between his teeth.

  I welcomed the sharp nip because it alerted me to the fact that this was actually happening. I was in the stock room with Jared Johnson and he was… well, he was…

  Oh my god. My panties were moved to one side and his tongue licked right there. I arched my back. I thought last night’s fantasies were amazing, but they were nothing at the side of the reality. Coming undone, I shattered around his mouth. For a minute I felt embarrassed, until he dropped his Santa boxers along with the briefs he had on underneath them.

  Oh my.

  Opening my thighs wider, Jared positioned himself against me and thrust deep. It felt like paradise. Pausing for a moment, he stared down at me.

  “God, I’m going to fuck you over and over and over this Christmas and beyond, Casey Roberts. Now I’ve got you, I’m never letting you go.” He said huskily.

  I smiled. It was music to my ears. “I feel like I should sing ‘Santa Baby’ or something.”

  He thrust into me again, harder. There was one thing I knew for sure.

  Santa was definitely coming this year…

  THE END

  Read more about Audrina in RESOLUTION: Bad Girl. Out January 2019.

  Santa comes once a year … or does he?

  Join sixteen of your favourite romance authors as they make all of your Christmas wishes come true!

  Put out the milk, he’ll take care of your cookie — it’s time to take seat on Santa’s lap.

  Santa’s Naughty Elf by Tracy Lorraine http://smarturl.it/SantasNaughtyElf

  Stocking Stuffers by Olivia Hawthorne http://smarturl.it/StockinStuffers

  Santa’s Huge North Pole by Vivian Ward http://smarturl.it/HugeNorthPole

  Santa’s Helper by Tessa Blake http://smarturl.it/SantasHelper

  Naughty or Nice by Laney Powell http://smarturl.it/NaughtyOrNice18

  Merry Me by Frankie Love http://smarturl.it/MerryMe

  A Magical Trip by Derek Masters http://smarturl.it/AMagicalTrip

  Dirty Little Secret Santa by Alexis Adaire http://smarturl.it/DirtySecretSanta

  Mistletoe Magic by Kim Loraine http://smarturl.it/MistletoeMagic18

  Naughty Sleigh Ride by Fiona Starr http://smarturl.it/NaughtySleighRide

  Naughty St Nicholas by Alexx Andria http://smarturl.it/NaughtyStNick

  Not So Silent Night by Kelli Callahan http://smarturl.it/NotSoSilentNight

  Santa’s Baby by Dee Ellis http://smarturl.it/SantasBaby

  Santa’s Blind Date by Dori Lavelle http://smarturl.it/SantasBlindDate

  Snowed Inn by Sher Dillard http://smarturl.it/SnowedInn

  Find our favourite authors in one place!

  https://www.facebook.com/groups/bookhangoverlounge/

  Join us in the Book Hangover Lounge for a monthly chance to win “Lounge Loot,” giveaways and goodies…and the perfect place to recover from a long night with your latest book boyfriend!

  Angel Devlin is the sexy alter-ego of paranormal, rom com, and suspense writer, Andie M. Long. Check out Angel for stories of heart and heat!

  She lives in Sheffield with her partner, son, and a gorgeous whippet called Bella.

  His Perfect Martini

  Buy/borrow here: http://geni.us/perfectmartini

  Also in KINDLE UNLIMITED.

  What happens in Vegas, can't always stay in Vegas.

  Mila Williams came to Vegas to show her family that it was love not money that counted in this world. But once her allowance stopped, so did the relationship. Starting over as a cocktail waitress, Mila can’t believe the idiots who get drunk in her bar then married. She vows she's better off alone.

  Louis Clayton is an upcoming YouTube sensation, famed for his elaborate stunts and pranks. But none are more shocking than travelling to Vegas to marry a stranger, a woman he's never met before. Louis is looking to hit one million subscribers, Mila's just looking to forget her mundane life for one drunken night.

  No one expects what happens next. Now millions know Mila's name and Louis isn't so sure it's all a joke anymore.

  Love and Liquor Series

  Banned

  http://geni.us/banned

  Evan:

  I have one rule. One. No overnight stays–ever. All the fun you like, as many times as you like, but you are never staying the night.

  My mother had a rule too. Rachel is off-limits. BANNED. Any other girl. But never her.

  Rachel:

  They call him Heavenly Evan. A creator of bliss, but a breaker of hearts. He’s my long-time crush, and I just know he feels the same. He never lets a girl stay the night, they're BANNED. But I want to show him I'm different. So, I’m going to break in, stay the whole night, and break all the rules.

  Or will he b
reak my heart?

  Love and Liquor Series

  Lucked

  http://geni.us/LUCKED

  When a hen do, becomes a hen don't…

  After a disastrous hen do in Dublin, Anna curses her ex for ruining her trip to Ireland, and her life. She thought Ireland was supposed to be lucky…

  But Cillian, the guy she bumped into the night it all went wrong, is determined to show Anna that she's the girl of his dreams.

  Invited back to Dublin, to see the city through Cillian's eyes, is Anna on a rebound, or has she actually found true love?

  Read Lucked today to see that sometimes bad luck comes to make way for the good.