Santa’s Christmas Cracker Read online

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Santa’s Coming…

  Book Hangover Lounge

  About the Author

  His Perfect Martini

  Love and Liquor Series

  Love and Liquor Series

  “God, I hate Christmas.” Pulling a face, I whined to my best friend Audrina. “I can’t compete with spiced pumpkin lattes and Christmas cup designs, not when I’m trying to fight to keep my business open.”

  I looked around at my little coffee shop. It had been my dream to open a place where people could come to escape the stress of everyday life. I was a vintage girl at heart, and my little coffee shop reflected that with its mix of mismatched pastel colored chairs, wooden tables, bunting, and assorted vintage antiques. When I first opened a year ago, the place had been bustling as people enjoyed the different vibe from the usual coffee shops chains. However, the lure of the routine and familiar had pulled them back. Now, my coffee shop was lacking in customers, and I was lacking in enthusiasm as I didn’t believe that drawing a Santa face on a cup with a Sharpie was going to bring anyone back, no matter how good Audrina was at doodling.

  “Stop being so negative, Casey,” Audrina rolled her eyes. “We just need to think of something unique, something that the others can’t do, and get everyone back in here.”

  “Huh, I need a miracle to get customers back in here right now.” I blew out a huff over my lips.

  “That’s it!” Audrina made an elaborate flourishing gesture with her hands and arms which almost cost me a shelf full of vintage cup breakages. “You need a Christmas miracle, like Santa!”

  I looked at my best friend like she had banged her head hard and was confused.

  “Getting an overweight old man in here won’t bring me customers. Not unless he’s giving them free coffee and I can’t afford to do that.”

  I looked at my friend’s face. Her green eyes were twinkling with the look she only got when she had ideas of getting up to mischief. “I said something unique, a normal old Santa isn’t unique. You need to forget vintage. Vintage Santa is out. Hot Santa is in.”

  I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Once Audrina got an idea in her head, it was hard to remove it. Her blonde layers shook as she nodded in excitement. “And I know just the person—Jared.” She took her cell phone from her purse, ignoring my squeals of ‘hell no’. I jumped toward her, trying desperately to press the cancel call button on her cell, but she stood on a pale pink chair out of my reach.

  The last thing I wanted was Jared Johnson in my coffee shop. The last time I had seen him was six years ago, when aged fifteen, I had made an idiot of myself in front of him at Audrina’s and Jared’s elder sister’s wedding reception. Why no parent had stopped me from drinking four glasses of champagne from the silver trays carried around by hotel staff, I did not know (well, actually, they didn’t see me do it, but we’ll not dwell on that tidbit). But what I did know was that I’d made sure I’d not been able to attend anything where Jared was present ever since.

  “All sorted! Jared will be here in thirty minutes to discuss his role as Santa. He said that depending on what your female customers looked like, one might get an extra present, that he’d keep down his pants. He is so gross.” Audrina pulled a face. “Anyway, we don’t want to be accused of being sexist, so I will don a sexy Santa outfit myself to attract the male customers in. You’re welcome.”

  “Surely there’s something else we can do instead?” I groaned.

  “Don’t be stupid. This is an amazing idea. Plus, I’ve always wanted to dress as a sexy Santa, but being single this year, I have no one to dress up for. This means I might have a chance of pulling a hot guy to kiss under the mistletoe and also get to keep my job. There’s no way we are letting this business flounder. So, while it’s quiet I’m off to the fancy dress shop. I’ll bring you something to wear too as it will look strange if everyone else is in costume and you are still dressed like a 50s pinup girl.”

  I held onto my victory rolls protectively. “Leave my hair alone. I love my vintage look.”

  “Honey, so do I. But it’s Christmas now, so you might just have to do something different for once. You know, push yourself out of that comfort zone you’ve got trapped in.” She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door, “back soon,” she yelled and then she was gone.

  It was then I realized that Jared would be here soon and that if no customers turned up in the meantime I’d be facing him alone.

  Fabulous.

  A wedding reception six years previously…

  I swiped another glass of champagne from a passing waitress. It was just too easy. Audrina would distract them, and I would swoop in. My legs were feeling a little wobbly, so I excused myself from Audrina—who had been pulled to one side by her mother—and made my way over to an open patio door at the rear of the room. Fresh air, that was what I needed. Some fresh air to wake me up. I found a bench a few yards away and sat down on it, taking deep breaths in of the cool air. It was stiflingly hot in the party room, and along with the alcohol it was making me feel rather sleepy, and a little bit out of it.

  You’re drunk.

  “No, I’m not. I’m just happy.” I argued with myself.

  “First sign of madness, talking to yourself, Case. New nickname for you if you’re not careful. Basket Case.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

  Holy fuck. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. Jared Johnson. My best friend’s brother.

  I’d now been nursing a crush on him for two years. Ever since I’d caught him coming out of their pool and realized he was no longer the scrawny annoying shit he’d been before. Three years older than me, the now eighteen-year-old Jared was the stuff teenage dreams were made of. To me, he was like a movie star. He worked out at the gym and swam a lot and it showed. He was toned, his muscles corded. He had a healthy glow and when I’d seen him earlier, he had been rocking his tux. I’d quickly mumbled an almost indecipherable ‘hello’ at him, before taking my flush-cheeked self off in the opposite direction. At least now I’d be able to excuse my flushed cheeks away as alcohol-induced. The problem was right now I couldn’t get my eyes to open. I was willing them to look at Jared, to batt my lashes so he fell madly in love with me, but the stubborn jerks refused to open. My body was trying to go to sleep. No! Hot guy is here. No sleeping!

  “How much have you had to drink while no one was looking, Casey?”

  Could I get my mouth to move? I licked my lips.

  “I’ve not been drunking.” Shit!

  “Okay, you’re not currently half asleep on the bench, talking to yourself, with your eyes shut due to drunking?”

  I shook my head insistently. It was not a good move. Everything swayed. That’s when my eyes decided to open. In panic.

  Eyes wide, I saw Jared was right next to me, his arm coming around me. Well, this wasn’t the best time for us to finally get it on, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him toward me, my lips meeting his.

  “What the hell are you doing, Casey?” He leaped away from me, and I scratched my head wondering why there were three of him and not knowing which one to look at.

  “I wash kishin you, stoopid. Where’d ya go?”

  “Yes, but why?”

  I scrunched my eyes, that way I got one Jared, although three of them was hot. What I could do with three Jared’s, whoa! I started to fan myself. I was getting hotter with every second of thinking about it.

  “You shtarted it. You came over and touched me.”

  “Yeah, to stop you falling off the bench.�
�

  His words were like a bucket of iced water. Reality hit at the same time as the rest of the alcohol, and I leaped off the bench and began to vomit behind a nearby bush.

  I felt Jared’s hands lift my hair while I puked. I would never live this down—ever. Once I stopped being sick, he offered me the folded handkerchief out of his tux pocket.

  “You okay?” He asked.

  I couldn’t look at him. Jeez, I’d thought he wanted to kiss me and then I’d puked in front of him. I was a stupid little girl, and that was all he would ever see me as.

  “I’m fine, excuse me. Yes, I think it’s time for me to go home.”

  “Casey—”

  His words half dispersed into the breeze because I was gone. Like Cinderella on the stroke of midnight, I ran, but rather than a shoe, I’d lost my chance at Jared Johnson ever seeing me as anything but his younger sister’s idiotic friend.

  I busied myself tidying up the countertop and the tables. Okay, I tidied myself up first, running to the bathroom and brushing my hair and adding lipstick, hoping that no one robbed me of cups and saucers while my back was turned. I needn’t have worried, when I came back out the shop was as empty as it had been when I’d gone in. It was time to face facts. I needed Jared Johnson to help my business. Come on, Casey. I told myself. You are not the stupid teenager he last saw.

  And then I watched him walk past the window. Well, I watched a total hot sex god walk past the window and I just knew—like my nose was set to his pheromones, like a siren call—that it was him.

  The door opened, the little bell tinkling and there he was.

  Dark hair, grown out of a short cut, just getting a little shaggy. Stubble on that fine jaw. A smile appeared widening that perfect pout, lighting up those hazel eyes.

  “Casey. How long has it been? The last time I saw you, you were puking in a bush, and look at you now, a businesswoman no less.” He threw his arms around me and hugged me. I stiffened in his arms.

  Oh my god, that humiliating evening has been brought up already.

  I want to die, right here in my own coffee shop.

  Lord, I’m asking nicely, kill me now.

  Fuck, I’m still alive.

  He’s moving his arms away now.

  Oh great, it’s like an action replay because I can’t open my eyes again.

  I took myself in hand. This was not how a businesswoman conducted themselves. I would ignore his total overwhelming hotness and deal with what I needed him for. His hot bod. Oh my, I was doomed.

  EYES OPEN.

  THANK YOU FOR CO-OPERATING.

  “Jared! Sorry about that. I’ve had too many coffees. Got a bit of a rush there, just needed to steady myself.”

  I hugged him back. My hands had a quick squeeze of those fine arms of his. Ooh lovely warm flesh under my fingers. Okay, there, lady, slowly, reverse out of the hug, and voila, you are standing like a normal human being.

  Be normal.

  Act perfectly normal.

  “So, what can I get you to drink, and would you like something to eat?”

  Say me.

  Oh my god, shut up mind!

  “I’ll take a cappuccino please, and one of those chocolate twists. I’ll just work it off down the gym.” He said, patting his no-doubt washboard abs. He was wearing a pale blue t-shirt that hugged that damn fine body. I reluctantly turned away to fix his drink.

  “The coffee shop looks fantastic. You did good. I know Audrina loves working here. I’d say don’t you two run out of things to talk about, but I remember what you were like as teenagers, so I can answer my own question.”

  “Yes, well, I’m not a teenager any more, but yeah, we’re still the same, hardly come up for air.”

  I passed him his drink and picked up the tongs to get his twist.

  “It’s been too long, Case. You were like part of the household furniture and then all of a sudden we didn’t see you anymore. I know you felt embarrassed about—”

  “Don’t.” I nodded toward an empty table and seat. Taking my cue, he went and sat down. I placed his plate in front of him and feeling brave I sat near him.

  “Look, I made a fool of myself, but if it’s okay with you, I’d rather not talk about it. It’s in the past. Now enjoy your drink and pastry. Obviously they’re on the house.”

  A brave grown up woman would ask him about himself, even though you know everything from casually asking your bestie.

  “So, how are you doing, anyway? Life treating you well?”

  He nodded, wiping crumbs from his mouth. I’d have given my right arm to be his thumb at that moment.

  “Really good. I have a place in Manhattan, and I work in retail. I’m a buyer for a menswear chain.” He pulled on his t-shirt which lifted up revealing a line of hair that disappeared below his waistband. I was going to explode in a moment into goo and slide right down him. “As you can see, I’m not working today, hence my casualwear. What about you? I know about your career, but any husband on the horizon?”

  “No. Would you like a refill?” I said with urgency.

  His brows creased. “It’s still hot. You like just this second made it.”

  “I’ll refill it anyway.”

  “Erm, okay.”

  As I stood, Audrina came through the door. Thank actual God. I could not talk to Jared about my love life. That was a hard limit. Also, I didn’t want to show him that I was crushed he didn’t already know the status of my love life, because I’d known every girlfriend or potential girlfriend he had ever had. I’d stalked the shit out of those ladies on social media, seeing what they had that had attracted him and sadly copying where I could. Latest flame had blonde hair? I’d get mine streaked. Fitness freak? I’d get an exercise DVD. Okay, I didn’t actually do it, other than in my head, but it was the thought that counted, right?

  “Hey, Jar.” Audrina dropped the bags on the table and hugged her brother. “Thanks for coming to the rescue. Has Casey got on her hands and knees and begged you yet?”

  “What?” We both yelled in unison.

  She turned to me. “Have you not asked him to be Santa yet? It’s your business, you need to beg him.”

  I took a deep exhale and then tried for a calm inhale. “Oh, sure.” I turned in his general direction and made myself look at him. “As Audrina said, we need a Santa for the coffee shop, and all the old men with white hair and a beer belly are booked up like years in advance, so could you do it?”

  A smirk touched the edge of his lips. “Second choice after an old, tubby guy; that’s a first for me. So, what do I have to do? Just hand out gifts?”

  “And kisses.” Audrina stated like she was saying something reasonable like Christmas cards.

  “You didn’t say that on the phone!” Jared yelled in protest.

  “Well, if I had you might have said no. Look around you, Jar. There are no customers because they’ve been seduced by pumpkin spiced lattes. So, we need you to seduce them instead.”

  “I feel like some kind of hooker.”

  “You got it. And all those lovely female customers are the fish. You never know, you might land one for good. ‘Bout time you settled down.”

  His gaze flicked to mine, but I looked away, finally making his replacement drink. Fabulous, so my best friend wanted to get her brother a wife in my coffee shop, right in front of me. Just. Freaking. Great.

  “What has that mug done to you today?” Audrina pointed to where I’d put it down with such force that half of the contents had splashed out over the counter. I grabbed a cloth, wiped the sides down, and then got yet another mug to make yet another drink.

  “So, here’s your Santa costume, Bro.” Audrina pulled a packet out of the bag, “and here’s mine.”

  I noticed something fishy. “Those packets aren’t very big, Aud.”

  “Well, mine is just a green mini dress and a pair of Christmas trees on a headband. I decided to be a naughty elf because I didn’t want anyone to think I was Mrs. Claus and Jared’s wife, UGH. Not only w
ould that be weird, but I don’t want the female customers throwing shade at me.”

  I wasn’t sure how an elf costume made any difference, but it did in Audrina’s head so I didn’t challenge it.

  “So, when is this happening then?” I asked.

  “Tomorrow?” Audrina said. “Give me some time to get it on social media and the web page.” She turned to Jared. “can you go try yours on please, so we can take a photo to add to the advertising. Thanks.”

  He shook his head and rolled his eyes, but headed off to the bathroom.

  When he returned, I think my eyes must have actually bulged out of their sockets. He was dressed in a Santa hat, and some red velvet boxers. THAT. WAS. ALL.

  “I seem to be missing some of my costume.” He told his sister.

  “Oh yes,” she replied going into her purse. “Here, I got you a Christmas tree bowtie to go with it.”

  I passed him his drink. “If I had any alcohol, I’d have added some.”

  “Thank you.” He turned to his sister. “Get this photo over with so I can get back changed, and you owe me big time for this. Big. Time.”

  “I got you covered, Bro. I know this is a big favor you’re doing. So, I have a reward in mind for you, don’t worry.”

  “It’s you. I do worry. Last Christmas you bought me a theater ticket. I never used it because why would I go to see Elf the Musical?”

  “You too? She must have got them at a discount. She got me one as well. I couldn’t fathom why. I hated that film. It was painful to watch.”

  “You are so ungrateful, the pair of you. And I’m making the sacrifice to dress up to entice all these male customers for your business, Casey. There’s no appreciation whatsoever. I’m going to get changed myself. Take Jared’s photo, will you?” She handed me her phone and swanned off out of the room.

  “Please tell her I like Brunettes, will you?” Jared came up close and spoke low near my right ear.